Snape's Nightmare
by Dragonrider47
Summary: While in potions class, a potion goes horribly wrong. Something hilarious happens to Harry, Hermione and Ron. But what? They are changed into toddlers, thats what! Read to find out how they wreak havoc on Hogwarts! And why the hell has Naruto showed up?
1. Chapter 1

"Settle down," said Snape coldly, shutting the door behind him.

There was no real reason for the call to order; the moment the class had heard the door close, quiet had fallen and all fidgeting stopped. Snape's mere presence was usually enough to ensure a class's silence.

"Before we begin today's lesson," said Snape, sweeping over to his desk and staring around at them all, "I think it appropriate to tell you that the potion we will be concocting is highly challenging and, if brewed incorrectly, can be very dangerous. Even the simplest mistake could be fatal"

His gaze lingered on Harry and his mouth curled into a smirk.

"I should hope at least one of you to prove how much you have learned in this class, by completing this assignment by the end of the lesson. Begin."

With a flick of his wand, the ingredients and the method appeared on the blackboard.

Harry had never in his life seen a more difficult potion.

But, as usual, the love of his life had got straight to work.

She pulled her cauldron towards her with one hand, while weighing 50 grams of dried Basilisk's fang on the scales with the other.

Harry scanned the room apprehensively, and then kneeled down on one leg in front of her.

He took her hand in his and said, "Hermione, you know how much I love you, right?"

She raised her eyebrow at him suspiciously.

"And that you're the most beautiful, funny, caring, intelligent girl in the whole world."

"Yeah," she said skeptically.

"Well, would you please, please do me the honour of… making this potion for me?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "You're a pathetic little boy, you know."

He looked up at her with his best puppy dog stare.

"But I'm a pathetic little boy you love, right?"

She tried hard to keep a straight face, but in the end she just laughed and said, "Of course I'll help y--"

She cut-off mid sentence and her eyes wandered to something behind Harry's head.



He felt a rough hand grab his collar tightly and yank him up from the floor, his feet just barely touching the ground.

The class stopped what they were doing, all eyes on Harry.

"What do you think you are playing at Potter?" Snape barked tauntingly into Harry's face.

His cold eyes stared into Harry's emerald green ones, his hooked nose seemed even bigger close up.

"Nothing Sir," Harry spat back, a look of disgust clearly seen on his face.

Snape sneered at him darkly. His fists still in an iron-grip on Harry's collar.

"Get back to work," he said loudly, his eyes then traveled around the room, "All of you."

There was a sudden scraping of cauldrons and chopping of knives as his classmates resumed their work, pretending that they hadn't been eavesdropping.

Snape practically threw Harry into his chair, making sure to give him a sinister glare as he swooped back to the front of the dungeon.

"10 points will be taken from Gryffindor, for Mr. Potter's little…performance."

Harry groaned.

"Smooth move, buddy," Hermione joked, playfully whacking him over the head.

"Well, that's the last time I ever display human emotion around Snape, that's unfamiliar territory to him," he said, winking at Hermione.

"Your such a git!" She laughed, earning her a death glare from Snape, who was now patrolling around, criticizing everybody but Malfoy.

"Come on, you two. Get to work," said a disgruntled Ron, obviously irritated at their show of affection.

Harry scoffed, "look who's talking!"

"Hn," Ron replied, never talking his eyes off the Leontopodium alpinum roots he was crushing.

"He's right, Harry," Hermione agreed.

A smirk spread across Ron's face.



"Go get the rest of the ingredients, Harry. They'll be in the store cupboard," she said.

She set to work chopping up the last of the dragonfly thoraxes and chizpurfle carapaces.

"Fine," he mumbled.

He squinted at the blackboard, the letters coming together to form words.

"Uh, fire to be exactly 150 degrees… blah, blah, blah… faerie wings, Maurandya petals… claw of wolf,"

The store cupboard door was open as Harry approached it. Jars of rare animals and plants piled up on the shelves.

"Ok, fairy wings, mar-oo-dan-thingy, wolf claw…" He said, stating the name of each item as he picked it up.

When returned to the table, the liquid inside the cauldron had turned a dark shade of blue, and the fumes appeared to be making Ron dizzy.

"Harry, put the faerie wings in," Hermione said.

He gently collected the fairy wings into the palm of his hand. They were so small and delicate; he was sure that if he were not careful, they would break.

He held his hand over the cauldron.

Hermione stood on her tippee-toes, peering at what Harry had in his hand.

"Harry, what are those?" She asked.

"Fairy wings," he replied, tipping his hand over so that the wings drifted down.

"NO! Harry it said faerie wings, not fairy wings!" She cried.

Too late.

The fairy wings hit the bubbling mixture.

Nothing happened.

Hermione looked at Harry crossly, "Do you know what you could of d--"

A deafening sound was heard as the cauldron exploded.


	2. Chapter 2

"EVERYBODY GET OUT NOW!" Snape roared over the screams.

Smoke was increasing at an alarming rate, rising up in swirling spirals of violet and emerald.

Ernie Macmillan by some means managed to yank the dungeon door open and everyone scrambled out, stepping over each other in their haste.

Soon the dungeon corridor was full of coughing and spluttering students, a haze of smoke still lingering in the classroom.

Snape's eyes scanned the corridor, counting his pupils' heads.

Panic arose in his chest, as he realised three of them were missing.

"Potter," he muttered quietly to himself.

"WHERE ARE POTTER, WEASLEY AND GRANGER?"

The cry of a young child echoed dully of the cobblestone walls of the dungeon, stopping each and every wizard in their tracks.

They glanced at each other with confused looks on their faces, puzzled at where the strange sound could have possibly come from.

Three figures slowly emerged out of the smoke.

One had jet-black hair, glasses and a lightning blot scar on his forehead. Another with bushy locks and chocolate brown eyes. The last with flaming red hair and a freckled face.

This would have been perfectly normal, IF ONLY THEY WEREN'T THREE FEET HIGH!!

Harry, Hermione and Ron had been changed into… TODDLERS!


	3. Chapter 3

The dungeon was in complete silence; nobody could believe what they were seeing.

"What are you looking at Ferret Boy?" yelled a four-year-old Harry, who strolled up to Malfoy and kicked him hard in the shins.

"AHH!!" Malfoy screamed, clutching his leg in pain. "WHY YOU LITTLE…!" Harry stomped his small foot as hard as he could on Malfoy's toes, laughed, then ran.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" yelped Malfoy, who chased after the little Harry and grabbed him by the collar before he reached the door.

"I'LL GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Malfoy bellowed in the little boy's face. He whipped out his wand and pointed it directly at Harry's throat.

Hermione screamed. The piercing cry echoed throughout the dungeon. Malfoy dropped Harry and clasped his hands over his ears.

Harry ran over to his four-year-old girlfriend. Tears were pouring down her face and Ron put his podgy little hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Get your hands off her," Harry yelled threateningly at Ron. He threw a weak punch to Ron's stomach and Ron started to cry. So, being the boys that they are, the two started fighting. Rolling around on the stone floor, punching each other while Hermione cried.

"SHUT THAT LITTLE beep UP!!" someone yelled, indicating to Hermione.

Snape pushed students out of his way as he headed for the trio. As soon as his looming shadow fell over the boys, they stopped fighting and stared up at him. Snape grabbed them both by the collar and strolled out of the dungeon corridor. Harry and Ron shouted and kicked at the air wildly.

"Someone get the girl!" He yelled over his shoulder.

Malfoy knelt down in front of Hermione, his face close to hers. "Your mine mudblood," he whispered to her, grinning wickedly.

He picked the toddler up from under her arms and she squealed deafeningly. "Not this time," he said over the noise. Hermione thrashed and kicked her feet at Malfoy's cough groin. She hit her target and Malfoy dropped her, sinking to the floor where he moaned in pain and clutched his cough groin.

The class laughed their head off while Ernie picked Hermione up off the floor. "HARRY!" She cried, tears streaming down her petite little face. "WHERE'S HARRY!"

Meanwhile Snape was getting more and more frustrated. Ron had begun to cry because he's hungry and Harry had decided to start screaming out insults at every passer-by.

Snape still had his hold on the boys' collars, not intending to let go anytime soon. Unleashing these terrors on Hogwarts wouldn't be the smartest thing to do.



Harry grasped Snape's wrist with his tiny hands. He pulled his mouth up to Snape's fingers and bit, HARD. Harry's sharp teeth pierced the skin and Snape cried out in pain.

His grip on Harry's collar slackened. Harry laughed evilly and took this as an opportunity. He launched himself at Snape and climbed up onto his shoulders. Harry spat in Snape's greasy hair and said, "Yuk! You taste like crap old man!"

"ARGH! POTTER!"

Harry laughed maliciously and pulled out a few hairs from Snape's head.

"I'M HUNGRY!!" screamed Ron, clutching his stomach as it grumbled.

Suddenly Harry put his little index finger to his temple and closed his eyes, thinking intensely. "Hermione!" he gasped. "She needs me! I must go!"

With that he bounded off Snape, Superman style!! Unfortunately, he couldn't fly. He landed hard on the marble floor and started to cry, rubbing his bottom.

Ernie caught up to them. Hermione saw Harry on the floor crying, then started crying herself. Again.

"OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!" Ernie yelled in annoyance. That just made her cry louder.

Harry got up, completely forgetting about his pain. "HEY!! DON'T SPEAK TO HER LIKE THAT!!" he screamed at him. Ernie backed away from Harry hesitantly, as the little boy advanced on him.

"U–Uh, calm d–down Harry," Ernie stuttered as Harry backed him into a corner. "What the hell am I saying?" he mentally smacked himself over the head. Ernie pulled his wand out of his trouser pocket and pointed it at the small boy.

"_Incarcerous_," he muttered. Ropes flew out of midair like thick snakes, wrapping themselves tightly around Harry's torso, trapping his arms. Harry gave a cry of rage and squirmed within his bindings, attempting to free himself.

Ernie picked up the boy and wandered over to Snape, who was now struggling to pry a moldy chocolate frog from Ron's hands that he had found.

"GIMME IT!" Ron squealed, stamping his feet on the floor in a tantrum. Snape sighed and let go, 'I'll let him eat it, and then he'll get sick, and DIE! Mwah ha ha ha!' he thought evilly, rubbing his hand together with glee.

Hermione placed her little hands on her hips and said, "Ron! You aren't going to eat that are you? If you do, something real bad could happen to you and–" she continued to jabber on and on about what could come of eating a rotten chocolate frog. Ron took no notice of her lecture and stuffed the frog in his mouth greedily.



Snape saw what Ernie had done to Harry, considered it, then turned his wand on the other two.

"_Incarcerous_," he said effortlessly, grinning to himself as ropes bound the youngsters' bodies, immobilizing them.

"I'll take it from here, Macmillan." Snape said, taking the still-struggling Harry from Ernie's hand.

Harry bit Snape's leg, making him cry out in rage. Snape violently picked up the other two and marched off.

The walk to Dumbledore's office was both humiliating and painful, with students staring and Harry biting his leg every five seconds.

Finally Snape turned down the corridor that led to Professor Dumbledore's office. He stopped in front of the stone gargoyle and said "Cockroach Clusters". He watched as it sprang aside to reveal the hidden staircase.

'Better get rid of these ropes,' thought Snape. With a flick of his wand the bindings that bound the three kids disappeared. Harry and Hermione scrambled up the stairs, but Ron didn't move. He clutched his stomach and said, "I don't feel good." He then vomited all over Snape.

"DISGUSTING!" Snape roared, flicking his hands around to get the vomit off.

"WEASLEY!"

Ron scampered of after the other two, leaving the fuming Snape alone.

Snape marched up the stairs, his feet stomping violently against them. About halfway up he slipped in a puddle of (yep, you guessed it) vomit and tumbled down, hitting his head on the way. At the bottom he laid there, vomit oozing through his clothing and into his skin, making him feel like vomiting himself. His hatred for those three kids grew even bigger.

Gritting his teeth, he stood and trudged up to the door, only to find it already open.

Inside, the three kids were wreaking havoc. Smashing, destroying and burning everything they could get their little hands on.

"Oh dear," said Dumbledore. "It seems we have a problem."


	4. Chapter 4

"POTTER! PUT THAT DOWN! NOW!" hollered Snape, charging at the four-year-old boy.

Harry had the somehow managed to get hold of the sorting hat, and was threatening to drop it out the window. He laughed manically and easily dodged Snape as he lunged at him.

Harry whipped out his wand and jabbed it, smiling wickedly. Flames sprang from the tip of his wand and engulfed the hat in a fiery inferno.

It moaned in pain. Harry laughed and chucked it at Ron, who was smashing everything he could get his hands on, then looking through the shattered remains for food.

It landed right on top of his head and Ron screamed. He started running around in circles and shouting "Get it off! Get it off!" Harry was now on the floor in hysterics, beating his fists and shaking with laughter.

Harry cast a tripping jinx at Ron, sending him sprawling spectacularly, skidding along on his front for six feet or so. The flaming hat flew high off his head and landed evenly on one of the shelves of Dumbledore's bookcase.

The books caught alight quickly, spreading from one to another, and soon the every book in whole office was ablaze.

Harry punched his fist in the air with victory as he watched, but was soon filled with horror as he spotted Hermione in amongst the fire.

"HERMIONE!!" he cried.

"SANTA!" he indicated to Dumbledore, "SAVE HER!"

All this time Dumbledore had been sitting calmly at his desk, twiddling his thumbs, not paying any attention to the scene going on before him. Just drooling like an old man.

With a flick of his wand the flames extinguished, leaving the room covered with soot and books smouldering on the floor.

Harry ran over to Hermione and enveloped her in a big hug, then gave her a light kiss on the lips. He asked her if she was all right and she just smiled shyly back at him.

"Ewww! Harry kissed a girl!" cried Ron, shielding his eyes from them with his hands.

Harry lunged himself at Ron and started beating him up. Ron hit him back and soon Hermione was in on the action too.

"You're so emo Harry!" said Snape in a Ron-like voice, trying pathetically to egg him on.

"I know that was you dickhead!" Harry called out to Snape. He stopped fighting and slowly advanced on him.



"OH MY GOD! Who the hell do you think would fall for that?" Harry yelled.

He dived at Snape's legs, biting them as hard as he could. Hermione ran up to Harry and pulled him off.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!!" screamed Snape, "WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND BITING?"

"I'LL BITE YOU!" Harry called back, poking his tongue out at him.

Snape growled in frustration. "I KNOW! THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT!"

"It seems to me," interrupted the calm voice of Dumbledore. "That there is only one thing to do."

Everyone turned to look at him, except for Harry, who had snuck around behind him and was silently tying his beard to the desk. Harry chuckled evilly to himself and return to Hermione's side.

"Alas, the answer is to," Dumbledore stood up, but was immediately thrown hard to the ground. Harry pointed at him and laughed hysterically.

"What the hell Harry?" asked Hermione, raising her eyebrows at him. "Was that supposed to be a prank? That was lame, dude. I mean, come on, like, whatever."

Harry just continued to snigger away. Dumbledore stood quickly, trying to pretend nothing happened. He was all red in the face as he continued, "Severus, until an antidote is found, you–" he pointed his wrinkly finger at him. "– are going to look after them."

"WHAT!"

I'm really sorry, that was so pathetic.


	5. Chapter 5

Glass shattered as an orange ball came catapulting through the window. "BAKA!" someone yelled really loudly from the grounds outside. With a whoosh two figures appeared over the orange ball. One was a girl with rose-pink hair and emerald eyes, the other, a boy, had spiky chicken-butt black hair and dark eyes. They both looked to be about 12.

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he leapt forward and grabbed onto both their legs. "Mum! Dad!" he cried, the two raising their eyebrows and looking at him skeptically. "I knew you weren't really dead."

The boy with spiky black hair huffed and shook harry off. "Who is this weakling?" he asked the girl, crossing his arms in annoyance. "I don't know," she said, walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder, comforting him as it seemed this boy got irritated over nothing. "But he looks a bit like you, don't you think?" The pretty girl smiled at Harry and he smiled back.

Ron was poking the orange blob with his wand, the thing now emitting groaning noises. This caught everyone's attention and they all crowded around it. "Dad, what is that thing?" Harry said, tugging on the boy's blue shirt. The boy either did not hear him or just chose to ignore him as he didn't make any move to answer him. Harry began crying and ran off somewhere.

"Hello?" Hermione asked the blob, joining Ron in poking it with her wand. The orange blob jumped from the floor in one swift movement, revealing that it is a human. It grinned and scratched its head sheepishly. After further inspection they saw that the kid was the same age as the two other strangers, he had squinty blue eyes, blonde spiky hair and weird lines on his face, sort of like a cat's whiskers, or fox's. And he wore a really unfashionable orange jumpsuit.

Snape glared at the three intruders, raising his wand and pointing it at them. "Why are you here?" he barked. "Well, you see," the blonde kid yelled. "I kinda lost all our supplies in that lake after some monster thing with tentacles attacked me and then something happened that I can't remember and then I smashed through the window and then I met you guys! Dattebayo!" he flashed a smile and gave a thumbs up. Everyone just looked at each other and shrugged, except for the boy and girl who were used to the guys crazy antics.

"Mum, Dad, do you know this weirdo?" Harry was now back and pestering his so-called parents. The Boy turned to him, the black commas spinning in his now red eyes. Harry shrunk away from him as his gaze intensified. "Kid, we are not your parents!"

"Sasuke-kun! Don't be so rude! You're scaring him!" said the pink haired girl. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Laughed Ron hysterically. "Sasuke-kun? What the hell kinda name is that?!"

Sasuke has just about to rip the little beeps head off when Harry interrupted. "But you must be my parents! You're both beautiful and have the same features as them, so you must be!" Sasuke frowned at being called beautiful but just as he opened his mouth to retort the blonde kid started yelling. "My name is NARUTO UZUMAKI! The best in the world!" he then pointed to the pink-headed girl. "This is SAKURA HARUNO! The fairest and strongest girl in the land!" he then directed at the black headed boy and spoke quietly. "That's Sasuke Uchiha. But he doesn't matter because I'M GONNA BE THE HOKAGE!"

"Excuse me," said Hermione. "But what does the fact that you're going to be the HOKAGE got to do with him not being important? And what the hell is a HOKAGE?" The pink headed girl, Sakura, answered; "The HOKAGE is the leader of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves."

"Yes, of course," said Ron sarcastically rolling his eyes. "Because we all know what the hell that is…"

Dumbledore interrupted; " But Alas, what may I ask be the reason you grace us with your presence here at Hogwarts?"

"Hogwarts?" the three strangers said in unison.


End file.
